Let Me Figure It Out
by hmweasley
Summary: Harry forgets about Kreacher in the aftermath of the Battle of Hogwarts until he wanders down to the kitchens looking for dinner. He isn't expecting the request Kreacher has of him.


Harry felt dazed as he maneuvered through the castle corridors and down to the kitchens. He'd donned his invisibility cloak, not not wanting to face anyone yet. He'd briefly considered going to the Great Hall for dinner, but he'd passed on it in the end, worried about causing a scene.

He'd slept for more than twelve hours after the battle, and he'd had to remind himself that Voldemort's death hadn't been a dream when he'd woken up. It felt like one. He felt lighter than he could ever. He shivered at the thought. It felt so much creepier without the adrenaline created by oncoming death.

When he reached the kitchens and swung the door open, he wasn't expecting the sight he came across. The place was scattered with confetti that, upon closer inspection, was cut in the shape of lightning bolts. His cheeks warmed. When he'd made the decision to come to the kitchens, he hadn't considered that the house elves would treat him any differently than usual.

Taking off his cloak, though, he saw that the elves hadn't even noticed he was there as they danced together at the other end of the kitchen, a table laden with butterbeer pushed against one wall. They were engaged in a drinking game of some sort, though Harry had trouble sorting out the rules from where he stood. Many of the elves were drunk to the point that their shouts were slurred.

"Master Harry!"

Harry looked down to see Kreacher hurrying towards him, and he exhaled, relieved to see that Kreacher had made it through the battle and a little ashamed that he hadn't thought to check in on the elf despite Kreacher being...his, in a sense, no matter how much he hated it.

"Kreacher," Harry said, a little unnerved at the way the house elf was beaming at him after being away from it for months. "How are you doing?"

"Kreacher is good, Master Harry! Kreacher was helping fight! Kreacher couldn't destroy the locket for Master Regulus, but he could help fight."

Harry snorted, not sure he wanted a detailed account of what damage Kreacher had managed to inflict during the battle.

"Thanks, Kreacher. I'm sure Regulus would've been really pleased if he'd seen you."

Kreacher preened at the praise, but Harry's stomach chose that moment to growl loudly, and Kreacher snapped into his role as attentive house elf.

"Is Master Harry hungry, sir? He didn't eat lunch or dinner. Kreacher was watching for him, but he never came to the Great Hall."

Harry inwardly cursed Kreacher making him feel guiltier for not checking in with him.

"Uh, yeah, I'm a little hungry," he said, rubbing his stomach, "but it looks like everyone's busy."

Kreacher followed his gaze to where the rest of the house elves were congregated. They had broken out into a loud drink song that included them embracing each other and swaying dangerously from side to side.

"Mistress McGonagall ordered the house elves not to work tonight. We have to celebrate with each other. It's an important day, she says."

"Oh." Harry tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice as his stomach growled again. "That's okay then. I'll go."

Kreacher moved with surprising speed to stand between Harry and the door.

"Kreacher is Master Harry's elf, sir," he said, a hint of the tone he'd used with Harry back when they'd first met working its way into his tone. "Kreacher must listen to Master Harry before he listens to Mistress McGonagall."

"Well, yeah," Harry said as if he'd realized that all along, "but I don't want to interrupt your fun. You deserve to celebrate with the others, Kreacher."

Kreacher blinked at him a few times, not moving from his place in front of the door, before snapping his fingers. A plate with a simple-looking sandwich appeared in his hands.

"When Master Harry didn't come to dinner, Kreacher made him dinner, but Master Weasley said Kreacher should wait for Master Harry to wake up on his own, so Kreacher waited. Now you're here, Master Harry, so Kreacher has your dinner."

He held the plate out, and Harry took it after a moment of hesitation. It had clearly been assembled hours earlier, and it had been generously slathered with mayonnaise to the point that the bread had become soggy. Kreacher didn't seem to think this was a problem, and Harry wasn't sure it was the time to explain to Kreacher that mayonnaise was just about the only food on earth that he couldn't stomach.

"Thanks, Kreacher," he replied weakly.

Kreacher smiled at his work being accepted and ushered Harry to sit at one of the tables that mirrored the house tables above. Harry did so and tried to ignore Kreacher watching him as he took a bite of the sandwich. It took all of his willpower not to gag as each bite tasted worse than the last. Flashbacks of the sandwich that had given him a stomach virus as a kid kept coming to him unbidden as he hurried to finish the sandwich, and he distracted himself by watching the other elves celebrate. He even got into the music, swaying back and forth with the elves for several minutes before he realized what he was doing.

"Does Master Harry want more?" Kreacher asked the second Harry had swallowed his last bite.

"No, thank you," Harry said, downing the water that Kreacher had been kind enough to provide him with. "I think I'm full."

He wasn't, but he'd at least eaten enough that his growling stomach wouldn't alert Kreacher to his lie.

Kreacher was still watching him as if he expected something. Harry glanced at the other elves, who were so caught up in their party that they still hadn't acknowledged that he was present. Kreacher showed no interest in joining them again.

"Do you need something, Kreacher?"

Kreacher wrung his hands before answering.

"Will Master Harry be going back to Grimmauld Place?"

Harry sighed both at the question and the hope in Kreacher's voice.

"I don't know, Kreacher. All I've done since the war ended is sleep for twelve hours. I never thought past this. Right now, there is no plan."

Kreacher's shoulders drooped, and he closed his eyes as if exhausted.

"You can always go back to Grimmauld Place, Kreacher," Harry rushed to add. "If you don't like it at Hogwarts, you can leave at any time. You haven't been ordered to stay here anymore."

He saw no reason to continue tying the elf to the castle when the original reason for sending him there was no longer valid. Kreacher could share whatever he wanted with the world, and it would make no difference, but Harry also didn't expect the elf to betray him as he once had.

"But Kreacher must stay with Master Harry," Kreacher said in a trembling voice. "Kreacher must serve you, sir. Kreacher is your elf."

Harry didn't think he needed Kreacher's help with anything at all, but he didn't have the heart to say that to the elf's face when he was looking at him as if Harry's rejection would break his heart. Harry had thought Kreacher would love returning to Grimmauld Place and having the run of it like he once had, but he supposed that Kreacher had always wanted the family he'd cared for to return. Now Harry was the closest thing he had to that family. Harry and the locket that still hung around Kreacher's neck.

"Kreacher," he said, steeling himself for what he was about to say, "I have to be honest. Right now, I'm just tired, and the last thing I want to think about is what comes next. Maybe the war is over, but I'm not used to peace yet. This change makes me feel so...so…lost almost, and I need need time to figure out what's next for me. My life will probably be a mess for a while. If you don't want to go to Grimmauld Place, you might be happier staying at Hogwarts."

Kreacher looked like he was holding in tears, but he didn't speak as he stared up at Harry.

"You can tell me what you think, Kreacher," Harry said with a sigh. "You don't have to hold it in."

"Serving Hogwarts isn't the same as serving a family, Master Harry."

Harry sighed, running a hand over his brow.

"I'm not a family, Kreacher. I'm just me."

Kreacher blinked at him as if he didn't understand the distinction Harry was making, and it was only then that Harry realized Kreacher meant serving the entire Potter line—whatever that looked like in the future—for the rest of his life, not just serving Harry in the immediate future.

"Tell you what, Kreacher," Harry said with a sigh, "let me at least figure out where I'm going to live beyond the next day or so, and we can talk about it then."

Kreacher nodded, but he was still watching Harry as if he was afraid Harry would abandon him. Harry said his goodbyes quickly before donning the cloak once more and heading for his dormitory. He needed more sleep. Everything else could wait.

* * *

 **Prompts:**

 **Hogwarts Challenges and Assignments**

Assignment 10 - Religious Education: task 10 - write about a post-war celebration

Seasonal Challenge - Days of the Year: Mouldy Cheese Day - write about someone tasting something disgusting

Seasonal Challenge - Autumn Prompts: (dialogue) "This change makes me feel so...so..."

Word count: 1,528


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